I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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