I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize