just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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