it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
