I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
