I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
