ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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