she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
