I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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