Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
