well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
