Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
