Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
