You made me cry and you don't even care
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize