so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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