I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize