All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
