my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
