i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Too much gin, very little bucket
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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