I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
