We're facebook friends in real life
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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