i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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