dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
