We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
