My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
