you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
