did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
