I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize