dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
