Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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