I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize