check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
