it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
