Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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