You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
