right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
