Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize