I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
