is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize