I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
