Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
