my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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