I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
