Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
