how can u be prego again
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
