you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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