my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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