your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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