If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
