I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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