you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
