eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize