Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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