life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sponge bath it is.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Randomize
