i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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