We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
