Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
ttyl tear gas
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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