Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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