omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
