FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize