i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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