He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
