The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
