Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize