Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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