I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
