Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
