do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
