i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
