i barfeds in our rink
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
