i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
