We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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