Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
