And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
