I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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